I stumbled upon that quote a couple years ago, and it called. me. out.
I wanted to make more money, and it kept slipping through my fingers. I couldn’t figure it out! I was thisclose to a sustainable career, but suspected I had some old money beliefs that were blocking me.
Here’s how they came up: I JUDGED PEOPLE WITH MONEY. I was totally subconsciously attached to being the person who DIDN’T have money.
“Oh – you took a vacation to Ibiza?!” (To myself: MUST BE NICE.)
“You always look amazing. I love your clothes.” (To myself: MUST BE NICE TO SHOP SO MUCH.)
“Oh your kid goes to THAT SCHOOL?” (To myself: We will never be able to afford that.)
My identity was so entrenched in being the girl who was NOT rolling in dough, it’s a wonder I held onto ANY dollars that year. This is called “scarcity mindset” and it’s gross and makes you small and insecure and resentful and whiny, and I highly recommend you “do the work” on these thoughts, if you have them. (Note: I can help you via private coaching.)
“To have what you want in life, you must first give up being the person who doesn’t have it.”
This subconscious limiting of ourselves does NOT just apply to money, by the way. As moms, we do it with our self-care, freedom, alone time, girl time, you name it. Someone posted in the Mommy Soul Tribe recently about feeling resentment creeping in because her husband was taking a long guys’ trip and she “wouldn’t be able to take a long vacation without her kids for 20 years.”
Have you ever felt this way? I know I was on the brink of this mommy martyrdom 3 years ago, and I’m so grateful I did “the work” around those thoughts. I pushed through the resistance of attending my first women’s retreat solo, and that life-changing experience proved to be pivotal in almost every single thing that has followed. Literally…
It would feel ridiculous for a mother with the above belief system to even consider the definite possibility that she could take a girls’ trip, because her identity is tied to being the parent who “doesn’t have that luxury.” Guess what? Once it’s a luxury, it feels irresponsible and like something a “respectable” mother would never.
Is this you? Are you accidentally making yourself the person who CAN’T? Consider this an invitation for you to break that old pattern and evolve into the woman who most definitely CAN have it all. Feeling unsure where to start? A coaching+self-care tropical vacay with an intimate group of like-minded mamas would probably do the trick.
Translation: Cut. That. Shit. Out.
Get curious about the things you might be accidentally holding yourself back from only because YOU’VE DECIDED you can’t. What might be possible if you started changing your story and creating a well-rounded identity that had you feeling the way you wanted to?
You know what I think now when tribe members who are wealthy AF tell me about their family vacations?
“That sounds effing amazing!” (To myself: Love that I’m surrounded by so many women who are ABUNDANT AF. More permission for me to create what I desire! Can’t wait to take our family’s perfect-for-us vacay. Maybe we’ll go there!)
Can’t wait to help you feel abundant AF every damn day.